The Unspeakable

Sometimes last year, we were approached by our neighbour tentang Islamic Estate Planning (Perancangan & Pengurusan Harta Pusaka). Masa tu baru la saya dan suami tahu bahawa ada bahagian orang lain dalam aset yang kami miliki bersama. After our neighbour left, we discussed on how to better manage our assets and it led us to disagree on the distribution arrangement. Our discussion lebih kurang dibawah
Suami: I nak hibahkan our assets to our 2 boys
Me: Ait? I tak dapat apa-apa after all these years?
Suami: Hear me out. U could still benefit from it. Maknanye U boleh terus tinggal di rumah kite selame mane U don’t remarry
Me: Huh?! What?! Why?
Suami: My worry is that, that man might marry you because of your assets. 

I was taken aback for a bit tapi bila fikir balik, he has fair points. In the end, I do agree with him sebab the assets would benefit our boys more than I do.

I think I’ve shared a number of stories about the implications atau kesan kegagalan pemilik harta untuk merancang hartanya and the importance of sharing your wishes and requests on pembahagiaan harta. Sebenarnya orang tua-tua dulu pon ade buat perancangan cume what they did wrong was they used wrong terminology. Contoh; “Esok kalau pak mati, tanah ni hang punya, tanah hujung aloq tu adik hang punya”. The term “pak mati” tu consider wasiat atau pesanan. Bila wasiat, ia hanya akan terlaksana dengan keredhaan dan persetujuan semua waris qadim. Kaedah yang betul supaya ia tidak dianggap wasiat atau pesanan ialah to drop that “bila mati” phrase.

Kenapa penting untuk kongsikan hajat kita sebagai pemilik harta dengan waris? Supaya, bila kita dijemput kembali dan waris-waris hanya dapat tahu tentang perancangan kita selepas pemergian kita, mereka tak terkejut dengan apa yang we decided to do. Imagine kalau I only get to know tentang perancangan suami untuk hibahkan all his assets kepada anak-anak selepas suami dah takde? Pastinya saya tertanye-tanye tentang keputusan dia. I’ll be haunted by questions like “What did I do wrong sampai semuanya diserahkan kepada anak-anak?”, “Sampainya hati dia buat macam ni after all the hardship and struggles we went through together”, “Agaknya dia tak pernah sayang aku kot” and these questions will go unanswered for the rest of my life sebab orang yang buat keputusan tu is no longer around.  Soalan-soalan begini mengundang ill and negative feelings towards our beloved arwah kan? Bile kite ade negative feelings terhadap arwah, mampukah kita untuk terus mendoakan yang baik-baik untuknya di sana? If I were in that position, mungkin sukar untuk saya mendoakan dia sedangkan sebagai someone who has spent lebih separuh hayat saya dengannya, I should mendoakan yang baik-baik serta mendoakan for our union in the hereafter. Sebaliknya now that we’ve discussed what he plans to do, saya lebih faham dan boleh menerima his points and logics di sebalik keputusannya.

Perhaps it is time for us to discuss this matter with our loved ones. Sure, death is a daunting subject and many people avoid the subject all together. Tapi, none of us could really tell bile kite akan dijemput kembali. Speaking of which, beberapa hari lepas saya diberitahu tentang pemergian my late grandmother’s youngest brother. According to my mom, she has just met him a couple of days sebelum dia pergi and he was healthy and chirpy when she met him last. Jodoh, rezeki, ajal, maut adalah rahsia Allah that only He knows. Kita dituntut untuk selalu bersedia menghadapinya tapi bukanlah dengan tawakkal dan redha tanpa sebarang usaha. Renung-renungkan.    

#DiariWardina